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Lawyer Jokes
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Lawyer One Liners 2
Q: Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?
Answer #1: Take your foot off his head.
Answer #2: No? Good!

Q: What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?
A: When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.

Q: What is the definition of a "crying shame"?
A: There was an empty seat.

Q: Where can you find a good lawyer?
A: In the cemetary.

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?
A: A boxing referee doesn't get paid extra for a longer fight.

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?
A: When you die, a leech will stop sucking your blood and drop off.

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and an angry rhinoceros?
A: The lawyer charges more.

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?
A: You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline!

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a computer nerd?
A: Sooner or later everyone needs a lawyer.

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish?
A: One is a scum-sucking bottom feeder, and the other is a catfish.

Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the skunk.

Q: What's the difference between a hooker and a lawyer?
A: A hooker will stop screwing you after you are dead.

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?
A: A gigolo only screws one person at a time.

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?
A: A vampire only sucks blood at night.

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
A: A lawyer can take off his wingtips.

Q: What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?
A: A bad lawyer can let a case drag out for several years. A good lawyer can make it last even longer.


Source: Unkown

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