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Funny Quotes From Friends ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Joey: Ross, let me ask you a question. She got the furniture, the stereo, the good TV- what did you get? Ross: You guys. Chandler: Oh, God. Joey: You got screwed. Chandler: Yeah, I think for us, kissing is pretty much like an opening act, y'know? I mean it's like the stand-up comedian you have to sit through before Pink Floyd comes out. Ross: Yeah, and-and it's not that we don't like the comedian, it's that-that... that's not why we bought the ticket. Chandler: The problem is, though, after the concert's over, no matter how great the show was, you girls are always looking for the comedian again, y'know? I mean, we're in the car, we're fighting traffic... basically just trying to stay awake. Rachel: Yeah, well, word of advice: Bring back the comedian. Otherwise next time you're gonna find yourself sitting at home, listening to that album alone. Chandler: Oh, I think this is the episode of Three's Company where there's some kind of misunderstanding. Phoebe: Then I've already seen this one! (turns off the TV) Phoebe: Sorry. ..Y'know, those stupid soda people gave me seven thousand dollars for the thumb. All: You're kidding. Oh my God. Phoebe: And on my way over here, I stepped in gum. ...What is up with the universe?! Monica: Hey, Joey, what would you do if you were omnipotent? Joey: Probably kill myself! Monica: ..Excuse me? Joey: Hey, if Little Joey's dead, then I got no reason to live! Rachel: They wanna know if I'm okay. Okay.. they wanna know if I'm okay, okay, let's see. Well, let's see, the FICA guys took all my money, everyone I know is either getting married, or getting promoted, or getting pregnant, and I'm getting coffee! And it's not even for me! So if that sounds like I'm okay, okay, then you can tell them I'm okay, okay? Phoebe: Ooh, wait.. wait, I see a woman. Monica: Please tell me it's his mother. Phoebe: Definitely not his mother. Monica: Oh, no... Phoebe: Oh, wait, she's walking across the floor.. she's walking.. she's walking.. she's going for the pizza- (yelling) Hey, that's not for you, bitch! Monica: Would you let it go? It's not that big a deal. Ross: Not that big a deal? It's amazing. Ok, you just reach in there, there's one little maneuver, and bam, a bra right out the sleeve. All right, as far as I'm concerned, there is nothing a guy can do that even comes close. Am I right? Rachel: Come on! You guys can pee standing up. Chandler: We can? All right, I'm tryin' that. |
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