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Funny Quotes From Friends ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ (Camera pans to Ross, holding his stomach) Ross: ...nauseous, I'm physically nauseous. What am I supposed to do, huh? Call immigration? (pauses, looks suddenly inspired) I could call immigration! Phoebe: Ok, um, (clears throat) we haven't known each other for that long a time, and, um, there are three things that you should know about me. One, my friends are the most important thing in my life, two, I never lie, and three, I make the best oatmeal raisin cookies in the world. (Phoebe opens a tin and offers Rachel a cookie) Rachel: (taking cookie) Ok, thanks Pheebs (takes bite of cookie, overwhelmed) Oh my God, why have I never tasted these before?! Phoebe: Oh, I don't make them a lot because I don't think it's fair to the other cookies. Mr. Tribbiani: Joe, your dad's in love big time. And the worst part of it is, it's with two different women. Joey: Oh man. Please tell me one of 'em is Ma. Mr. Tribbiani: Of course, course one of 'em's Ma. What's the matter with you? Joey: It's like if you woke up one day and found out your dad was leading this double life. He's like actually some spy, working for the C.I.A. (Considers) That'd be cool.... This blows! Monica: Y'know, all these years, I thought you were on my side. But maybe what you were doing was sucking up to Mom and Dad so they'd keep liking you better! Ross: Hey, I married a lesbian to make you look good! Chandler: Oh look, it's the woman we ordered. Joey: Hey. Can, uh, can we help you? Ronni: Oh, no thanks, I'm just waiting for, uh, Joey Tribbiani. Joey: I'm Joey Tribbiani. Ronni: Oh no, not you, big Joey. Oh my God, you're so much cuter than your pictures! (Joey stares at her) I-I'm, I'm Ronni....Cheese Nip? Chandler: Uh, Joey's having an embolism, but I'd go for a Nip, y'know? Chandler: C'mon, I'll show you to my room. ...That sounds so weird when it's not followed by "No thanks, it's late." Mrs. Tribbiani: I know you did, cookie. Oh, I know you did. So tell me. Did you see her? Joey: Yeah. You're ten times prettier than she is. Mrs. Tribbiani: That's sweet. Could I take her? Joey: With this ring? No contest. |
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