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Funny Quotes From Friends
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Roger: Aaaah, what's wrong, c'mon.
Phoebe: It's, I mean, it's nothing, I'm fine. It's my friends. They-they have a liking problem with you. In that, um, they don't.

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Chandler: If I turn into my parents, I'll either be an alcoholic blond chasing after twenty-year-old boys, or... I'll end up like my mom.

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Joey: I'm tellin' you Ross, she wants you.
Ross: She barely knows me. We just live in the same building.
Chandler: Any contact?
Ross: She lent me an egg once.
Joey: You're in!
Chandler: She'll love it. Go with the egg, my friend.
(Ross walks over to the woman, egg in hand.)
Joey: Think it'll work?
Chandler: No, it's suicide. The man's got an egg.

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Janice: So, do we have the best friends or what?
Chandler: Joey's not a friend. He's...a stupid man who left us his credit card. Another drink? Some dessert? A big screen TV?
Janice: I will go for that drink.

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Chandler: I just don't want to be one of those guys that's in his office until twelve o'clock at night worrying about the WENUS.
Rachel: ... the WENUS?
Chandler: Weekly Estimated Net Usage Systems. A processing term.
Rachel: (sarcastic) Oh. That WENUS.

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Chandler: Hey, you guys in the living room all know what you want to do. You know, you have goals. You have dreams. I don't have a dream.
Ross: Ah, the lesser-known "I don't have a dream" speech.

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Rachel: So what are you guys going to do?
Ross: Oh, I just thought we could go out to dinner, and then maybe bring her back to my place and I'd introduce her to my monkey.
Chandler: And he's not speaking metaphorically.

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Ross: I don't think I'm the dirty-talking kind of guy, you know?
Joey: What's the big deal? You just say what you want to do to her. Or what you want her to do to you. Or what you think other people might be doing to each other. I'll tell you what. Just try something on me.
Ross: (deadpan) Please be kidding.

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