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Funny Quotes From My Name Is Earl
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Catalina: This is the sweetest, most justified kidnapping I've ever seen.
Randy: How many have you seen?
Catalina: Five or so.

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Donny Jones: (to Earl)No if you'll excuse me, I've gotta help a prayer buddy in the garage. When he showed up I thought he was speaking in tongues, but it turns out he was just back on the stuff.

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Earl: So you're all churched up now, huh. Good for you. Giving up all that hurting people.
Donny Jones: Turn the other cheek now.
Earl: And you got a tattoo of the Red Sea to prove it.
Donny Jones: Wanna see it now. (he goes to pull down his pants)
Earl: No, I'm still gonna pass on that.

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Earl: Why are we stopping?
Randy: I think we got a flat in the back.
Catalina: Yea, I heard it too.
Earl: Damnit! I just got those tyres five years ago.

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Earl: (voiceover) Joy knew that video is the only thing close to a will I have, and normally she's not violent, but money makes people crazy.

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Joy: Next time you steal a camera Earl, make sure the thing works.
Earl: I think I got it on.
Joy: I love you Earl.
Earl: I love that you love me.

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Catalina: When someone is scared of something you need a friend to push them to overcome their fears.
Randy: You know, like throwing someone in the ocean whose afraid of swimming or putting a snake in a young girl's bed.

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Earl: I'm not doing Donny Jones.
Catalina: Why not?
Earl: I just don't want to okay. Besides, I don't even know where he lives.
Randy: They have big yellow books where you can find that stuff out Earl.
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