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Funny Quotes From South Park
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Johnny Cochrane: If Chewbacca lives on Endor, then you must acquit.

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Hell's Pass Hospital ER doctor: Okay, we're going to break up into teams. Team A will consist of Stan, Kyle, Eric, Chef, Nurse Goodley, and myself. Team B will consist of Kenny.

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Mr. Mackey: Okay, smoking is bad; you shouldn't smoke. And alcohol is bad; you shouldn't drink alcohol. And as for drugs, well, drugs are bad; you shouldn't do drugs. That's about wraps it up.

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The Newsreader: In other news, a pink eye epidemic is now sweeping the town of South Park. Here with a live report is a midget wearing a bikini.

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(Chef explains death to Stan, when Kenny dies for real)
Stan: Why would God let Kenny die, Chef? Why? Kenny's my friend. Why can't God take someone else's friend?
Chef: Stan, sometimes God takes those closest to us, because it makes him feel better about himself. He is a very vengeful God, Stan. He's all pissed off about something we did thousands of years ago. He just can't get over it, so he doesn't care who he takes. Children, puppies, it don't matter to him, so long as it makes us sad. Do you understand?
Stan: But then, why does God give us anything to start with?
Chef: Well, look at it this way: if you want to make a baby cry, first you give it a lollipop. Then you take it away. If you never give it a lollipop to begin with, then you would have nothin' to cry about. That's like God, who gives us life and love and help just so that he can tear it all away and make us cry, so he can drink the sweet milk of our tears. You see, it's our tears, Stan, that give God his great power.
Stan: I thnk I understand.

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