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Funny Quotes From Seinfeld
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ELAINE: You know what your problem is? Your standards are too high.
JERRY: I went out with you.
ELAINE: That's because my standards are too low.

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NAOMI: I thought you were happy-go-lucky.
JERRY: No, no, no, I'm not happy, I'm not lucky, and I don't go. If anything, I'm sad-stop-unlucky.

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ELAINE: You know, just when I think you're the shallowest man I know, you somehow manage to drain a little bit more out of the pool.

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ELAINE: Kevin and his friends are nice people! They do good things. They read.
JERRY: I read.
ELAINE: Books, Jerry.
JERRY: Oh.

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JERRY: Who leaves a country packed with ponies to come to a non-pony country?

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ELAINE: It's so sad. All your knowledge of high culture comes from Bugs Bunny cartoons.

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ELAINE: I'm not a lesbian! I hate men, but I'm not a lesbian!

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GEORGE: Are you sure that's the decaf? Where's the orange indicator?
WAITRESS: It's missing. I have to do it in my head. Decaf left, regular right. Decaf left, regular right. It's very challenging work.
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