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Funny Quotes From Seinfeld ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ELAINE: So now Joe Mayo wants me to buy him a new coat. JERRY: Because you threw it out. ELAINE: No, because I was in charge of the coats. It's insane! JERRY: But you did actually throw his coat out the window? ELAINE: But he doesn't know that. As far as he knows someone stole it, and that's the person who should be held responsible. JERRY: But that's you. ELAINE: So I guess I'll have to buy him a new coat, even though I don't think I should be held responsible, which I am anyway. GEORGE: What's in the big salad? JERRY: Big lettuce, big carrots, tomatoes like volleyballs. GEORGE: Who steals prescription glasses? ELAINE: You don't have an old pair? GEORGE: I broke 'em playing basketball. JERRY: He was running from a bee. KRAMER: Where are the totebags? I'm not leaving the premises without totebags. I was promised totebags, and totebags I shall have. JERRY: Are you going to tell your parents you're still alive? GEORGE: No. They could use the break. KRAMER: You remember my corporation, Kramerica Industries? JERRY: Alright. KRAMER: Well, apparently NYU is very enthusiastic about their students getting some real world corporate experience. JERRY: But you only provide fantasy world corporate experience. GEORGE: I never thought I'd fail at failing. JERRY: Oh, come on now. GEORGE: I can't do anything wrong. JERRY: Nonsense. You do everything wrong. GEORGE: Everything? JERRY: Everything. GEORGE: You really think so? JERRY: Absolutely! I have no confidence in you. GEORGE: Alright. I guess I just have to pick myself up, dust myself off, and throw myself right back down again. JERRY: That's the spirit! You suck! JERRY (about George): It's a shame his parents didn't get divorced thirty years ago. He could've been normal. |
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