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Funny Quotes From Seinfeld
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KRAMER: Hey, Elaine, what do you say, if neither of us is married in ten years, we get hitched?
ELAINE: Make it fifty.
KRAMER: We're engaged!

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JERRY: I'm very mysterious by nature. A lot of women find that attractive.
AMY: I find it annoying.

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JERRY: People on dates shouldn't even be allowed out in public.

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GEORGE: I love a good nap. Sometimes it's the only thing getting me out of bed in the morning.

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ELAINE: Is it a problem that I'm not really religious?
PUDDY: Not for me.
ELAINE: Why not?
PUDDY: I'm not the one going to hell.

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GEORGE: What is a barometer, exactly?
KRAMER: It's pronounced "thermometer."

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JERRY: Well, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year's gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake we know it's not to be. That for the rest of our sad, wretched, pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably. Happy birthday? No such thing.

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GEORGE: You have no idea of the magnitude of this thing. If she is allowed to infiltrate this world, then George Costanza as you know him ceases to exist. You see, right now I have Relationship George. But there is also Independent George. That's the George you know, the George you grew up with... Movie George, Coffee Shop George, Liar George, Bawdy George.
JERRY: I love that George.
GEORGE: Me too, and he's dying. If Relationship George walks through this door, he will kill Independent George. A George divided against itself cannot stand!
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