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Funny Quotes From Family Guy
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Francis: You're a good woman, Lois. Perhaps you won't burn in hell after all. Maybe you'll just go to purgatory with all the un-baptized babies.
Peter: There you go, Lois, you love kids.

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Lois: He just got up and left? Where would he go?
Peter: I don't know. I just asked him to buy me some peanuts and crackerjacks.
Brian: I don't care if he ever comes back.
pause
Brian: I wasn't being cute, I really hope he's dead.

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Peter: We all love the bible in this house.
Francis: Really? What's your favourite book of the bible.
Peter: Umm... the one where Jesus swallows the puzzle piece, and the man in a big yellow hat has to take him to the hospital.

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Peter: My dad worked at that factory for sixty years. That's almost eighty years.

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Brian: Oh my god! They're eating Asian reporter Tricia Takanawa!
Peter: That's crazy...they'll just be hungry again in an hour.

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Peter: No, Silly Rabbit Trix are for kids. Damn long ears, trying to steal Easter from Jesus.

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Peter: Y2K? What are you selling, chicken or sex jelly?

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Lois: This could be a great chance for you two to bond.
Peter: Bond? James Bond. I'll do it.

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