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Funny Quotes From Family Guy
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Peter: [writing letter] Dear MacGuyver, Enclosed is a rubber band, a paper clip, and a drinking straw. Please save my dog.

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Peter: You gotta help me Brian. Teach me how to be a gentleman.
Brian: Well, Peter, it's not really that hard. Let's start with polite conversation. For example, 'it's a pleasure to see you again. Lovely weather we're having.' Now you try.
Peter: 'It's a pleasure to see you again. After Hogan's Heroes, Bob Crane got his skull crushed in by a friend who videotaped him having rough sex.' How's that?
Brian: Wow. Perfect. My work is done. But just for the heck of it, let's try it again.

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Peter: Your Aunt Margorite is probably laughing at me right now while she's burning in hell, may she rest in peace.

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Ted Turner: I'd like to announce I've given the a gift the whole world can appreciate, I've colorized the moon.

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Announcer: Hey Boston, are you ready to Humblllleeee yourself before God?
Announcer: What, have you all taken a vow of silence? COME ON!

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Pope: It's as you said before Peter, I am a'da freaking Pope!

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Lois: Kids, your grandfather's ears are not gross and they are certainly not an enchanted forest.

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Stewie: [reading the Bible] My, my. What a thumping good read! Lions eating Christians, people nailing each other to two-by-fours. I say, you won't find that in Winnie the Pooh.
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