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Funny Quotes From Family Guy
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Peter: I'd like to propose a toast to our neighbors. Sure they might be black, handicapped, and a heartless sex hound, but hey, if they moved out some smelly Hawaiians might move in.

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Chris: So ..ah.. what are you wearing? Ha ha ha ha ha WOW! I bet you could see right through that.
Lois: Chris, who are you talking to?
Chris: Grandma.

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Social Worker: (lying in bed)Mmm Glen honey, I have a quetion for you. What do you do for a living?
Quagmire: Hey, I have a question for you too. Why are you still here?

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Death: You gotta kill the kids from Dawson's Creek
Peter: I knew it! As soon as that show came on the air I said, "I'm gonna be the one who has to kill 'em."
Lois: It's true, he really said that.

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Doctor: This doesn't look good, no this doesn't look good at all.
Lois: Oh no.
Doctor: My nephew drew a picture of me. It doesn't look a thing like me. Look at the nose, it's all wrong

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(Death and Lois playing the game of Life)
Death: You know, I should find this ironic, but I'm really just bored as hell.

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Stewie: But you promised the fat one would perish!

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Peter: Woah, woah, woah! Is this the price of my bill or my phone number?
Nurse: Your phone number
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