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Funny Quotes From Everybody Loves Raymond
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Frank: A blank check. You're dumber than I tell people!

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Robert: We've got a 10-30, better check outside.
Judy: No getaway-car. Got no friends?

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Robert: (on the police radio) You'd better drive by later. If it's open again we'll call in a K-9 car and send in the "Bow-Wow." (to Raymond) That's a police dog.
Ray: Oh, Bow-Wow is a police dog. How do you crack that code?
Judy: That ain't funny! And you don't talk while we on the radio, now sit back!
Robert: I told you Raymond, it's important that you do not interfere with police business.
Ray: What? What police business? We've been driving around for three hours. I saw more action on my paper-route.
Robert: Alright...
Ray: Maybe later we can climb a tree and save a Meow-Meow.

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Ray: I'm not drinking this. I'll wait and see what happens to you first.

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Debra: So it was just the once and then you got married?
Frank: It was just the once and then we HAD to get married...
Marie: FRANK!!!!

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Ray: (singing his second verse of take me out to the ballgame) My wife Debra she's funny , she smells good... We don't have as much sex as we should.

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Robert: My birthday's in June!
Frank: That's when we TOLD you your birthday was.
Marie: It was easier that way, dear.
Robert: Oh, well as long as it was easy!!

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Robert: So, when is my real birthday?
Marie: April 6th.
Robert: That's today!
(long pause)
Ray: .. Surprise ...
(long pause)
Ray: (starts singing) Happy... Birthday... to... you.
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