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Funny Quotes From Everybody Loves Raymond
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Ray: Debra, calm down. You're reacting to missing yams like the time you left Ally at the mall!

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Debra: Look, Ray, we want to start our own tradition, and Ally wants it to be like the first Thanksgiving.
Ray: Well, why don't we have some smallpox then, too?

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Ally: My teacher says they had fish at the first Thanksgiving.
Ray: Yeah, well, people were stupid then, sweetie!

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Ally: Good morning, Mommy.
Debra: Hi, honey. Where's Daddy?
Ally: In the shower singing. He's terrible!

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Debra: You know I gave up some stuff when we had kids.
Ray: I know...did it have to be sex?

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Frank: You mean that even though you know that ball's a fake it still means something to you?
Ray: Yeah, yeah dad.
Frank: Then this Christmas you're gonna love the Rolex I got you.

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Marie: What's the matter?
Ray: Nothing, nothing's the matter.
Debra: Oh nothing at all, except Ray was just about to tell Ally the truth about Santa Claus.
Marie: You what?!?!
Ray: NO, I didn't tell her.
Marie: My own son, an atheist?!?!

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Ray: Wait, Mickey Mantle didn't sign this ball? It isn't real?
Frank: It's a real ball.

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