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Funny Quotes From Everybody Loves Raymond
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Marie: Kindness--that's always been my motto.
Frank: Hmm, that's a slightly different motto than "Bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah."

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Frank: Nice? I tried it once. Didn't care for it.
Marie: Did the same thing happen with smart?

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Frank: You want books? They're all yours.
Robert: Nothing Dad likes better than getting rid of knowledge.

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(After Ray tells Debra and Robert he feels jealous that they've been dancing with each other.)
Robert: She's your wife!
Debra: He's your brother!
Robert: You are a sick man!

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Marie: Who keeps pornography for 29 years?
Frank: Anyone married to you.

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Debra: (about Robert) Oh, his feet are fine.
Ray: Yeah, fine, if you're trying to jump-start a vomit.

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Ray: (to Robert) That's the rule of marriage: a spouse automatically has the right to know that you deflowered a woman in front of your entire apartment building.

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Ray: Am I a man or what?
Gianni: Yeah, you should have your genitals removed.
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