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Funny Quotes From Everybody Loves Raymond
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(Ally pulls off Robert's Santa beard)
Ally: It's Uncle Robert!
Robert: (in Santa voice) No, no. I have merely assumed the body of a life form suitable to you.
Ray: Robert ... you're Santa, not a Klingon.

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Robert: Ma told me what you did... nice.

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(The doctor is looking in Ally's ear and she's crying)
Ray: Ok, doctor's making me do this. This is the doctor's fault, ok? Daddy is still a great man.

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Marie: (talking about Debra) See? You see what you're doing to her?!? Shh! Go, go, go, go she needs her rest!
Frank: She should be up and moving around. She should walk it off!

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Ray: And Ally's favorite video, "The Little Mermaid."
Ally: No, "Beauty and the Beast!"
Ray: Right... (to the doctor) It's the same thing.

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Debra: (talking to Robert) In fact, of all the Barones I'd say that you were the most----
Ray: (stares at Debra) What?
Debra: Th--- most tallest and the most darkest.

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Debra: What is it that you're worried about?
Robert: Alright, it's just that I've been out of the loop for a while you know, and well most of the women I talk to are in handcuffs. And then half of them turn out to be men.

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Ray: (talking about the car) Look, you don't understand ok, we can't return it, we're gonna look ungrateful.
Debra: Ray, would you rather I look like this!?!?! (scowls at Ray)
Ray: You know, anger is just misdirected passion.

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