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Funny Quotes From Father Ted ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Page 9 - Page 10 - Page 11 - Page 12 - Page 13 - Page 14 - Page 15 - Page 16 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Jack: Feck! Nuns! Reverse! Reverse! Ted: Now concentrate this time, Dougal. These (pointing to plastic cows on table) are very small; those (pointing out of the window) are far away... Father Stack: I want to listen to some music. Ted: Oh, that's fine, you go ahead there. Father Stack: I wasn't asking for permission. Ted: Dougal, you can't go around wearing an earring. Dougal: But Father Damo has one! Ted: Oh I see, so did Father Damo give you the idea? (Dougal nods) Ted: Honestly, Dougal, what next? Will he be giving you crack cocaine or something? Dougal: Crack cocaine! Now come on, Ted. (Dougal looks very shifty) Ted: Honestly, Dougal, could you not knock the old rollerblading on the head for a couple of weeks? Dougal: You're right Ted. I used to be happy enough with me old bike - I used to get a big buzz out of just going down to the shops on it, you know? But after a while... it just wasn't enough. I started going for bigger and bigger thrills... But I could give it up! Any time I wanted! Ted: You tried to give it up yesterday and you couldn't. Dougal: (falling to his knees and weeping into Ted's crotch) You're right, Ted, I admit I've got a problem... Old priest: I really shouldn't be here. Ted: You know the phrase 'to take care of something'? Well, I realise now that you meant that in a sort of Al Pacino way. Whereas I was thinking more along the lines of Julie Andrews. Dougal: God I've never seen a clock at 5 a.m. before! |
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