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Funny Quotes From Father Ted
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Dougal: Sorry Ted. I was concentrating too hard on looking holy.

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Ted: They've taken the roads in.

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Bishop Brennan: He DID kick me up the arse!

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Father Fitzpatrick: You left the cyanide capsules next to the Valium, you old fool. That's just asking for trouble!

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Jack: (judging a Wet T-shirt competition) More Water!

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Dougal: God, Ted. D'you remember that feller who was so good at fashion they had to shoot him?

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Dougal: Father Clippit says a good long mass. Four hours he does. Since his stroke.

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Dougal: No. We're up in space doing important work for NASA.
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