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Funny Quotes From Father Ted
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DOUGAL: Are you all right there? How's your bra?
NIAMH: What?!
DOUGAL: Your bra. Is it comfortable? Do you have a bra? It's not too tight, is it? 'Cause you can loosen it if you want. Take it off. Sure, go on. Or would you like some tea? Tell you what. I'll make the tea, and you take your bra off.

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DOUGAL (to his pet rabbit): Come on, Sampras.
TED: What did you call him?
DOUGAL: Sampras, like Pete Sampras.
TED: Why?
DOUGAL: Well, you know, rabbits, tennis, you know that whole connection there.

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DOUGAL: Oh, Ted, uh, that's the other thing. I-I sold Niamh the house.
TED: What?!
DOUGAL: Actually, I just gave it to her.
TED: What? You - wait a minute!
DOUGAL: Niamh's going to turn it into a studio. She said we can have all the recording time we want.
TED: Wait, now! Wait, now! You gave her the house? I mean, how -
DOUGAL: Ted! Wait a second! Where are we going to live?!

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TED: Dougal! Dougal, are you alright?
DOUGAL: I am. I am, I'm fine, Ted. I'm just not the best at making decisions.
TED: Look -
DOUGAL: Or am I?

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Father Fitzpatrick: And this is the last known photo of Herr Hitler; he's signing a few death warrants there.
Ted: Funny how you get more right-wing as you get older!

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Jack: DON'T TELL ME I'M STILL ON THAT FECKIN' ISLAND!!!

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Bishop Brennan: You will address me by my proper title, you little bollocks!

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Ted: Hello, is that the Yin dynasty? Family, sorry, the Yin family.
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