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Funny Quotes From Father Ted
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Eoin McLove: You leave me alone. I could have you killed.

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Dougal: I'm no good at judging the size of crowds Ted, but I'd say there's about seventeen million of them out there.

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Dougal: It's like a great big tide of jam. But jam made out of... old women.

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Mrs Doyle: Are you looking forward to your lunch tomorrow, Father?
Ted: Hmmm? I suppose so.
Mrs Doyle: You do like pheasant, don't you Father?
Ted: Pheasant? I love pheasant.
Mrs Doyle: Well there's a little clue. The thing you'll be eating likes pheasant as well.

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Dougal: The ants are back Ted!

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Eoin McLove: Go away! I don't want to catch menopause!

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Ted: (to Richard Wilson) I don't beleeeeeeeeeve it!

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Ted: Once again Dougal, you've made me look like a complete fool in front of real people. Thanks very much.
Dougal: To be honest Ted, I forgot you had the money. I was just going to tell you... your fly's open.
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