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Funny Quotes From Father Ted ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Page 9 - Page 10 - Page 11 - Page 12 - Page 13 - Page 14 - Page 15 - Page 16 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Ted: Dougal, how did you get into the church in the first place? Was it, like, 'collect 12 crisp packets and become a priest?' Jack: I'm sooooo, sooooo, soooo sorry! Ted: Now that's sarcasm. Dougal: Hello there Len. Bishop Brennan: Don't call me Len, you prick. Refer to me as 'Bishop Brennan'! Dougal: Ah right you are there Len. Dougal: God, I've heard about those cults Ted. People dressing up in black and saying Our Lord's going to come back and save us all. Ted: No, Dougal, that's us. That's Catholicism. Dougal: Oh right. Dougal: Watch this, Ted. (rubs letters off blackboard) You see? You can rub off the letters. Ted: But, Dougal, you can do that with any blackboard. Dougal: What? Ted: JUST PLAY THE F***ING NOTE!!! Pat Mustard: I'm a very careful man, Father. Ted: Except when it comes to taking precautions in the bedroom! Pat: You're not advocating the use of artificial contraception now, are you? Ted: Well, ye......well, no...well, naturally.....well, not really....well, of course you'd............JUST FECK OFF! Ted: Dougal, don't you think that if we put this baby's moustache, this baby's head hair and this baby's sideboards together we'd get....Pat Mustard? Dougal: D'you think the babies could be copying his style? Ted: No, Dougal, I think Pat Mustard's been delivering more than just dairy products, if you see what I mean. Dougal: Yes.......well........er...y..well.......yes. Ted: Do you? Dougal: No. |
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