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Funny Quotes From Father Ted
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TED: Sheep, like all wool-bearing animals, instinctively travel north, where it's colder, and they won't be so stuffy.

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DOUGAL: Ah! Brilliant. A load of people in a stable! It's the one thing I didn't expect.

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TED: So you took Father Jack out for a walk... and you lost him. Again.
DOUGAL: Well, Ted, like I said the last time: it won't happen again.

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DOUGAL: God, Ted. D'you remember that feller who was so good at fashion they had to shoot him?

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MRS. DOYLE: Are you looking forward to your lunch tomorrow, Father?
TED: Hmmm? I suppose so.
MRS. DOYLE: You do like pheasant, don't you Father?
TED: Pheasant? I love pheasant.
MRS. DOYLE: Well there's a little clue. The thing you'll be eating likes pheasant as well.

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DOUGAL: Sorry Ted. I was concentrating too hard on looking holy.

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TED: Dougal, how did you get into the church in the first place? Was it, like, "collect twelve crisp packets and become a priest?"

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DOUGAL: It's like a great big tide of jam. But jam made out of... old women.

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