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Funny Quotes From American Dad ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Page 9 - Page 10 - Page 11 - Page 12 - Page 13 - Page 14 Page 15 - Page 16 - Page 17 - Page 18 - Page 19 Page 20 - Page 21 - Page 22 - Page 23 - Page 24 - Page 25 - Page 26 Page 27 - Page 28 - Page 29 - Page 30 - Page 31 - Page 32 - Page 33 Page 34 - Page 35 - Page 36 - Page 37 - Page 38 - Page 39 - Page 40 Page 41 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Therapist: (About Roger) How do you feel? Stan: I guess I feel kind of... sad? Therapist: And do you know why? Stan: Because I... miss him? Therapist: No, because... you're a lady! (Everyone laughs) Stan: I am not a lady! (Stan leaves, slams door) Therapist: Wait, Stan! You forgot your purse. (Stan re-enters room) Stan: Oh, I swear I'd lose my own head if... Hey! I don't have a purse! Steve: Don't you have any feelings?! Stan: Son, feelings are what women have. They come from their ovaries. Steve: You're a monster! I have no father! Stan: I'm not a monster. (Skull falls out onto the floor from fire oven, Stan kicks it back in) Hayley: (Referring to Roger) Dad, I think he's dead. Stan: Well, then I guess he wouldn't mind if I poked him in the eye with a fork. (Stan pokes Roger in the eye with fork, pulls eye out, everyone screams) Yeah, he's dead. (Roger watching "Dynasty" on TV) Joan Collins: (Slapping each other) You bitch! Linda Evans: Bitch! Joan Collins: Bitch! Linda Evans: Bitch! Roger: God, they sure knew how to write female characters back then. Kid #1: (About Hayley) She's a harlot! Kid #2: They should be stoned! Jeff: Way ahead of you, kid. Stan: Deputy Director Bullock, I had no idea you were watching. Glad I could be so impressive. I'll take my victory muffin now. Make it... bran. Bullock: I'm afraid your usual muffin's been earmarked for someone else. Duper: Hi, Agent Duper. Big fan. Bullock: Agent Duper not only bested your time, he did so with a far better catchprase. Stan: What, better than "shock market"? Bullock: Duper? Duper: (Grabs a grenade, pulls pin, in a Ricky Ricardo-type accent) Lucy, you got some 'sploding to do. (Duper throws grenade behind him, explodes in the background) Stan: Oh, we're doing accents now? Stan: You saved my life! How could I ever repay you? Roger: You got TiVo? Hayley: Dad, what you're doing violates every tenent of a just and and rational society. Stan: (Brief pause) High five! |
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