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Funny Quotes From American Dad
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Steve: (After holding hands with Betsy) I touched her hand... her hand touched her boob. By the transitive property, I got some boob! Algebra's awesome

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Stan: Damn my tiny, girlish bladder!

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Francine: Stan, quit spying on the neighbors.
(Stan looking at the neighbors through binoculars)
Stan: Today's the day, Francine. Today I will finally beat that smug bastard Chuck White to church. Look at him zipping up his fly like he owns the place. Well, today I get the shady parking spot. All right, Chuck still needs a tie. He's a double Windsor man, so we have a good two minutes to... (Gasps) Good God, a clip-on! Go, go, go!
Francine: Wait! My bra!
Stan: No time. Just keep your arms crossed and Jesus won't see 'em!

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(Stan driving his SUV, pigeon crashes into windshield)
Francine: Stan, you just killed a pigeon.
Stan: No, I didn't.
(Turns on windshield wipers, pigeon slides off the window)
Francine: Stan, slow down. Is beating Chuck White so important to you that you'd put your family's lives at risk?
Stan: Absolutely.
Francine: You just ran through a crosswalk!
Stan: No, I didn't.
(Mr. Perkins is on the windshield)
Francine: Hello, Mr. Perkins.
(Stan turns on wipers to try to get him off, but fails)
Francine: Spray him. Spray him a little. That'll loosen him up.
(Stan sprays water on him, turns on wipers again, he slides off)
Mr. Perkins: (On the ground) Thank you.

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Stan: (About the Deacon position) Huh, Deacon. Long hours, no pay, whiny churchgoers... you'd have to be an idiot to volunteer for that position.
Chuck: I volunteer to be Deacon!
Stan: Me, too!

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Francine: (About the pot-luck wake) I could make potato salad.
Stan: Potato salad? Not exactly adventurous, but it gets the job done. That reminds me, we should have sex tonight.

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(After being tricked into eating the potato salad)
Roger: You set me up, Klaus! Why would you do something so awful?
Klaus: I'm German. It's what we do.

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Stan: Chuck... Kristy. Nice house.
Chuck: Smith, you live in a house. This is a manor... so you better mind yours.
(Chuck & Kristy laugh, Stan tries pulling out his gun from his jacket)
Francine: No.
funny games
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