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Funny Quotes From American Dad
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Klaus: You know what looks good to me? Francine bent over that sink.
Francine: Klaus, calm down.

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CIA Man #1: Hey, wanna get baked and ride the escalators at the mall?
CIA Man #2: Do I!

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(Stan gets up from hot tub naked)
Greg: Take a picture, why don't you?
Terry: I was being polite. It'd be rude not to look.

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Terry: Actually, Greg married once.
Greg: I was confused. Is that why you're here, Stan? Are you confused?

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Greg: First time the threat level's been blue. Just like my handsome co-anchor's lovely eyes.
Terry: Stop it.
Greg: Come on now, we've talked about this. Learn to take compliments.
Terry: Thank you.

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Francine: This is a wonderful starter home. I've been saving it for a couple just like you.
Woman: Pretty soon, we're gonna be more than a couple.
Francine: Oh, congratulations! I just thought you were fat.
Woman: We're adopting.

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Stan: Francine, what the hell is going on? You were fired.
(Donald Trump comes in)
Stan: That's passive past tense, Trump! You don't own that!

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Stan: Uh, excuse me, are you Francine's boss?
Man: Yes.
Stan: (Into wrist communicator) Go! Go! Go! You're all under arrest.
Man: For what?
Stan: Possession of cocaine donuts.
Man: Those are powdered sugar.
Stan: Put it in a rap song, jailbird. This office is permanently closed.
Man: What are you saying?
Stan: I'm saying you're fired.
Donald Trump: (Clearing throat)
Stan: Oh, for God's sake. Somebody pay Mr. Trump.
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