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Funny Quotes From American Dad
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Linda: (Holds up glass) To new friends.
Francine: You guys, I have a confession to make. This wasn't a theme party. I was just covering for Stan.
Linda: Sweetheart, we know. We've encountered people like him before.
Francine: You have?!
Bob: Oh, sure. But I gotta say, even though Stan's a suspicious, xenophobic vigilante, he's still a hundred times better than our last neighbors. (Laughs) They were black.

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Francine: Stan, let them out. This isn't funny.
Stan: Oh, oh, Linda's making a run for the gate!
(Electrified noise, Linda screams)
Stan: Come on, Francine. You can't tell me that's not funny.

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Hayley: Dad, what you did is racial profiling. The Memari's had nothing to do with that gazebo, and everyone knows it.
Stan: These people are trying to destroy us, and you want proof?
Hayley: Yes.
Stan: Oh, well, that's fair. I'll go get some.

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Francine: Yes, it's going to be a block party.
Stan: So we'll provide the burgers and beer, as long as you provide your charming selves.
Neighbor #1: So, no cavity search?
Stan: Available on request.
Neighbor #1: Oh, you.
(Everyone laughs)

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Francine: (About the block party) Oh, Stan, really? You promise you'll be good?
Stan: I'll be better than good. I'll be fun - starting now. I'll be fun in the kitchen! I'll be fun in the bedroom! I'll be fun in the dining room! And I'll be fun at Costco, when we're shopping for bulk paper towels! (Screams like Howard Dean)

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Tuttle: How ya doing?
Francine: Oh!
Tuttle: Seriously, I genuinely want to know.
Stan: Uh, now's not a good time. I just, uh... slammed my hand in the car door. (Slams car door on his hand, screams) You understand. Come on, Francine.

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Stan: Hayley! The neighborhood! What are you two doing here?

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Stan: The Memaris have clearly recruited others. They're like vampires... or the gays.
Hayley: Could you get any more insane?
Stan: Quick, plug your butt with this clove of garlic.
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