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Funny Quotes From American Dad
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Page 41
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(In the desert)
Steve: Okay. I'm cool. Whatever life throws at me, I can take it, because I am a strong, independant, black woman... I mean, white teenager. Oh God, I'm gonna die out here!

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(In bed)
Kazim: Oh, Hayley, that was so wonderful. But now, I'm so confused. It's like I'm not sure who I am anymore.
Hayley: Why, because of that thing I did with my finger? Look, we tried something weird, and you liked it. That doesn't make... Oh, you're talking about the terrorism thing.

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Steve: Wow, Angelina Jolie! I have so many questions to ask you. Is that whole thing about you sleeping with knives in the bed true?
God: I'm not Angelina Jolie, Steve. I'm God. I simply chose the form most pleasing to you.
Steve: Oh, you're God. So, is that thing about Angelina Jolie sleeping with knives in the bed true?
God: Yeah. It's messed up, isn't it?

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Judge: I'm sorry, counselor. What did you say your name is?
Defense Attorney: Irv Rosenblatt.
Judge: Guilty!
Defense Attorney: Every single case! Oy, this is a tough town.

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Judge: While I'm sure that's a meaningful callback to an earlier conversation, I must point out that you're a man and you have broken no laws.
Stan: So, what does a guy have to do to get stoned around here?
Judge: We're not big on homosexuality.

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Stan: (With his family, about to be stoned) Damn! Oh, God, we're all going to die and our lives meant nothing, absolutely nothing! (Pause) I mean, uh, something comforting.

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(Smith family arrives in America; Stan kisses the ground)
Hayley: Gee, dad, less than 24 hours ago you hated America.
Stan: (Laughs) Shut the hell up, Hayley.

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Roger: Oh, and what happens in Saudi Arabia, stays in Saudi Arabia, okay? Seriously.
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