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Funny Quotes From American Dad
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Page 41
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Stan: It's all right, Francine. For the second time in my life, I was saved by hip-hop... but that's another story.

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Francine: And darn it, Stan, actually, you know what? Damn it! That's right, I went there.

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Betty Sue: (Drunk) That's it! I'm driving home!
Everyone: Okay, bye. See ya.
Betty Sue: No one's even gonna try to stop me? Well, you can all go to hell! I hate you all!

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(Before delivering the pizzas)
Roger: (Sarcastically) Oh, this is gonna be life-changing.
(After delivering the pizzas)
Roger: That was totally life-changing!

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Stan: Hey, I have a life! I have an important job, a house with a giant flagpole, a great kid, another kid, and a beautiful wife who loves me and thinks I'm a winner. I have a great life. Oh my God! I have a great life. (About Betty Sue) So, what am I doing with this train wreck?

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Stan: That's a great story about being old and alone. It's like you've been walking around dead for 20 years and no one's had the decency to cremate you and sprinkle your ashes over Old Maid Mountain.
Betty Sue: Wow, that's quite a line.
Stan: Well, it's actually more of an assessment of your life.
Betty Sue: No, I mean the line to get in. What you just said was emotionally devastating.

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Betty Sue: I hope this isn't awkward.
Stan: Awkward? Don't be silly, it was Francine's idea.
Francine: I was being sarcastic! Or don't you get sarcasm, genius?
Stan: Oh, I think I get sarcasm, and I'm hardly a genius, but still, thank you; that's awfully sweet of you.

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Quacky: Apparently, Betty Sue was so devastated by losing homecoming queen, she went into a Dunkin' Donuts and never came out. And speaking of coming out: ta-da!
Stan: So that's why you're so pale. This is the first time you've come out of your house. This is a necktie, and this is a table.
Quacky: No, I'm gay.
Stan: What?! My gay-dar is totally off! (Looks down at watch that has 3 columns: Straight, Curious, and Gay; the pointer is on "Straight") Damn it, SkyMall, you've got me again!
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