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Funny Quotes From American Dad
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Page 41
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Francine: The point is, there was a time when you two weren't always fighting.
Hayley: That was before I knew Dad was a gun-toting maniac.
Stan: Beatnik!
Hayley: Warmonger!
Stan: Chupacabra!
Hayley: I'm the Mexican Bigfoot?
Stan: You heard her! She admitted it!

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Stan: See? Guns don't kill people. People kill people. Guns defend people against people with smaller guns.
Hayley: You're such a fascist!
Stan: Peace pusher!
Hayley: Murderer!
Stan: Hermaphrodite!

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Terry: (On TV) Our top story, a car was broken into Cherry Street this afternoon. My car. The suspect was six-foot two and a bastard!

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Stan: Before we adjourn, let's recite the NGA Oath. Hold hands. Come on, it's not gay, there's guns in the room.

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Roger: What the... Hey, that was my cookie!
Steve: You snooze, you lose.
Roger: "You snooze, you lose," huh? Hmm, okay. Eat up. (Narrows eyes) Eat... up.

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Francine: Oh, sweetheart, don't be so dramatic. Besides, aren't you having fun cooking with mommy?
Hayley: I'm not "cooking with mommy." Dad handcuffed me to the oven.

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Roger: Did you save me a cookie?
Francine: You bet I did. Last one.
Roger: Oh, cookie, you look so good. Shh, shh, don't speak. I'll go get some milk for your bath.

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Stan: Hey, son.
Steve: Don't "son" me, baby-snatcher! (Knocks bookshelf on Stan)
Stan: (Feels nothing due to being paraplegic) Somethin' on your mind, champ?
Hayley: Steve, what are you doing?!
Steve: Something we've both wanted to do for years, "sis." (Brings his sister into a passionate tongue-kiss, much to her dismay)
Roger: (To a dazed Hayley) Oh, my God! Everything that happens from this point on is just gravy!
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