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Funny Quotes From American Dad
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Saudi Police Officer: (Holding knife to Francine's throat) This belong to you?
Stan: Thanks, just, uh... just put her anywhere.

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Roger: Does this furniture polish have alcohol in it? (Drinks it) Mmmmmm... tastes like I might die.

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Man: (On radio) All units to the northeast corner of the kasbah! 220 in progress!
Saudi Police Officer: 220? Someone just spotted a woman's ankles. Let's move!

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Kazim: You should be more careful around the Police of Vice and Virtue. Do you want to get stoned?
Hayley: Yes! Oh, my God, it's been, like, forever.
Kazim: You would like to be buried up to your neck and have a crowd of angry men throw rocks at your head?
Hayley: Oh. No.

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Kazim: Normally, I wouldn't come to the aid of an American. Your country's foreign policy is despicable, your culture is crude, and your gluttony and greed make me sick. (Spits)
Hayley: You are so hot.

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Roger: Look, bub, I'm not marrying you!
Old Guy: Of course you're not marrying me. You're marrying him. (Points to Prince)
Roger: (Sees alcohol) Well, a girl can't hold out forever.

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Ali: It's so good to have Stan working with us on the pipeline and not for the... United States.
Faziz: Imperialist swine.
Ali: They want to enslave all Arabs.
Stan: You know damn well that America does not want to enslave all Arabs. Just the ones who have oil.

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Francine: (On the phone) Deputy Director Bullock, will you please offer Stan his job back?
Bullock: Francine, what a surprise. I already offered Stan his job back. He said, "No."
(Francine screams loudly, Klaus' fish bowl breaks)
Klaus: Your family may have moved to Saudi Arabia, but I'm the real fish out of water. (Laughs) Seriously, I'm dying.
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