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Funny Quotes From American Dad
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Dr. Heisler: Your breasts are fine. It would be unethical for me to recommend anything larger. But may I suggest a third breast?
Francine: I don't think...
Dr. Heisler: Okay, how about two in the back? Or I can combine these two into one fantastic super boob.
Francine: Can I just get a little Botox?
Dr. Heisler: (Sadly) No one ever wants the super boob.

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Francine: What's going on?
Stan: Steve fell off a ladder. He's dead inside. We're gonna go save America.
Klaus: Francine, you seem oddly unfazed.
Francine: No, no, I'm shocked and confused. It's just that I paralyzed my face to make me look prettier.
Klaus: Oh, why didn't you say you were having work done? I would have gladly gone halfsies on the super boob.

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Stan: Yeah, I like how you shortened it to Sci-Fi Convention so it's shorter to say. But next time, why don't you just say Sci-Fi Con? Or SF Con?

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Barry: So, why would Dan Vebber become a cyber-terrorist?
Steve: What do we know about Dan Vebber?
Snot: Well, he's a grown man obsessed with The Lord of the Rings.
Steve: That's it! By destroying modern infrastructures, he hopes to create a Middle Earth in the here and now.
Stan: That's it! I've cracked it!
Barry: But wait a second. Steve was the one who...
(Stan pulls out his gun, Barry stops talking)

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Stan: Look, Steve, if you could translate his notes, then I could capture this madman and be one of the cool agents again. Please, son, I really need your help.
Steve: Fine. I'll help you.
Barry: Look, Mr. Smith, your stress zits are going away. Yay!
Stan: Oh, God, I want to hit you!

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Stan: Steve, may I speak to you for a second?
(Pause)
Barry: Come on, Steve. He's your dad.
Stan: Shut up, fatty-fat-fat-pants! Wow. Seriously, I have no idea what that's about.

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Stan: (After all the CIA agents ditched him) I'm telling the President on you!

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Roger: Yes, I had a conversation!
Taco King: What are you doing on my corner?
Roger: Hola, Taco King. ¿Como estas?
(Taco King knocks Roger's pamphlets out of his hand)
Roger: Guess I should've used the formal "usted."
Taco King: You're cutting into my business!
Roger: Oh, come on. I bet if you let me inside your hard shell, I'd find a lump of soft meat. (Laughs) That came out wrong.
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