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Funny Quotes From American Dad ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Page 9 - Page 10 - Page 11 - Page 12 - Page 13 - Page 14 Page 15 - Page 16 - Page 17 - Page 18 - Page 19 Page 20 - Page 21 - Page 22 - Page 23 - Page 24 - Page 25 - Page 26 Page 27 - Page 28 - Page 29 - Page 30 - Page 31 - Page 32 - Page 33 Page 34 - Page 35 - Page 36 - Page 37 - Page 38 - Page 39 - Page 40 Page 41 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Old Woman: How much for the porcelain poodles? Stan: $178,000. Old Woman: I may be back! Peter: Okay, Terry, what is Greg's favorite appetizer? Terry: Oh, that's easy. It's... potato skins! Greg: No, it's wasabi tuna in a raddichio sauce. Terry: Even I think that's gay. Dr. Gupta: When you ran over your wife - twice - it caused her brain to detach from her central nervous system. She's what we, in the medical profession, call "a husk." Roger: I've heard of that. Dr. Gupta: We can reattach her brain, but it's an experimental procedure your insurance won't cover. Stan: That's my wife. I don't care how much it is, I'll pay it! Dr. Gupta: It's $178,000. Stan: What if I don't need her to talk? Dr. Gupta: Hello, I'm Dr. Gupta. Yes, I'm a woman. I suppose you have a problem with that. Stan: Uh, no. Is my wife gonna be okay? Dr. Gupta: Are you questioning my competence? Stan: No, I'm just concerned about my wife. Dr. Gupta: Really? 'Cause the way you're looking at me, it seems like you're concerned with something else. (Opens her shirt and flashes Stan) Stan: What the hell was that? Francine: (After being run over by Stan) I'm not hurt! It's a miracle! Roger: (Inside the car; to Stan) I think you're still on top of it. Back up. (Stan backs up and runs over Francine again) Stan: Oh, my God! I hit Francine! Roger: We should probably leave a note. Stan: Why the hell can't you just let this go?! Roger: Because you were my first! (Cries) Stan: I had no idea. Roger: I wanted a buddy, but now I never want to see you again! (Leaves car) (Stan starts to drive away; Roger comes back) Roger: You were supposed to come after me! Stan: What?! You crazy psycho-bitch! Leave me alone! Stan: Bobo, you crazy ol' herpes spreader! There's Lieutenant Herpes! Or is it Captain Herpes now? (Laughs) Bobo: Stan? I haven't seen you since college. What are you doing here? Stan: What do you mean? I'm here for my best friend's bachelor party! I got your eVite. Bobo: Oh, my secretary must have accidentally sent that. Stan: "Accidentally sent..." Get outta here, you crazy ol' herpes spreader! Bobo: Will you please stop calling me that? Stan: Oh, I got a present. It's an Asian sex doll. Huh, remember in college? You were always talking about climbing the Great Wall of Vagina? (Laughs) Bobo: Uh, Stan, this is my future father-in-law, Reverend Hideki Obayashi. Roger: Oh... (Roger & Stan get kicked out) Francine: Come on, Roger. He'd never let you go. Roger: Oh, I can be very persuasive. (Scene changes; Stan opens his luggage; Roger jumps out) Roger: Surprise! (Stan points handgun at Roger) Stan: (Crying) Look in your heart! I'm praying to you! Look in your heart! You can't do this. It's not right. It's a wrong situation. I couldn't help it, it's my nature. Somebody hands me an angle, I play it. I don't deserve to die for that! Do you think I do? This is not us! This is some hop dream! I'm praying to you! I can't die! I can't die out here in the woods! Stan: What the hell are you talking about? Roger: It's from my favorite movie, Miller's Crossing. Bravo, Joel and Ethan Coen. I mean, there are some proud parents, huh? Some nachas for the Coens? |
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