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Funny Quotes From American Dad
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Stan: Uh, Deputy Director Bullock.
Bullock: Gentlemen, we have a crucial mission. We found an Al-Qaeda cell camped out in the remote desert of Algeria.
Stan: Are they planning an attack?
Bullock: No, they're just on a camping trip.
Stan: Those s'mores-making bastards!

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Guard: (Singing) Here in Saudi Arabia! (Gets shot)
Saudi Police Officer: No singing!

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Hayley: (Running) I appreciate your culture!
Saudi Police Officer: (Chasing Hayley) Silence, whore!

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Stan: Ladies, ladies. You're both Mrs. Smith.
Francine: Stan, what on earth?
Stan: Surprise! I got us a second wife. You know, to help with cooking and cleaning. Her name's impossible to pronounce, so I just call her "Thundercat."

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Hayley: Steve, come on! I'm supposed to meet the neighbor's son in 20 minutes!
Steve: You know the rule. Say it, and I'll escort you to the bazaar.
Hayley: (Sighs) "You're the manliest man in the history of manly men."
Steve: And?
Hayley: "And when you're in your late 30s, you may have a chance at convincing a long-time female friend to have awkward pity-sex with you once."
Steve: Oh, yeah!

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Steve: My childhood died on July 18, 2003, the day Kobe Bean Bryant was charged with sexual assault.
Francine: Steve...
Steve: Why was he even in Colorado in the first place? Black man don't go to Colorado.

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Stan: Now, I've installed extra locks on the doors and windows so you won't get beheaded while I'm out.
Francine: Stan?
Stan: Way ahead of you. I'll find us a satellite so we can watch Lost when I get home. Just because we're stuck in this wasteland doesn't mean it's not Wednesday.

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Roger: I need a drink. Where's the booze?
Hayley: There is no booze. Saudi Arabia is a dry country.
Roger: Seriously, where's the booze?
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