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Funny Quotes From American Dad
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Stan: Here we go -- mac and cheese. (Reads box) "Boil water." What am I, a chemist?

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Francine: You want your money, you unsupportive jerk? Fine! (Opens cash register) Here's your $5,000 back.
Stan: You made all this in one day?
Francine: That's right, I did. Through hard work and giving people incorrect change.

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(At the "Aids Hotcakes" kiosk)
Jimmy: How come no one is buying your hotcakes, Mr. Aids?
Mr. Aids: Because I'm Irish, Jimmy. Because I'm Irish.

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Francine: Stan, I did some research on that kiosk at the mall. If you gave me $5,000 of your bonus, I could start a business selling my muffins. I think there's a real market for...
Stan: Ooh, ooh, uh, I... I'm sorry... sorry to interrupt, but, uh, real quick, this is the worst idea I've ever heard. Never gonna happen, but, please, keep going.
Francine: Oh, just forget it!
Stan: Great call, Francine.

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Francine: (Sweetly) All I need is someone with a little startup money who believes in me.
Stan: Francine, do you know what I'm gonna do for you? I'm gonna wear my money suit to your grand opening when you find that someone who believes in you.

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Steve: Dad, I'm meeting the fellas at the movies. Can I have a few bucks for popcorn?
Stan: (Wearing a money suit) Do I look like I'm made of money?

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Francine: Stan, it's great the CIA gave you that $20,000 bonus for "Most Evasive Testimony to Congress," but at this rate, it'll be gone in no time.
Stan: Hey, if I don't buy all this crap, the terrorists win. And don't tell me it's not a competition, because it so is.

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Klaus: (Sighs) Now I know why they say, "once you've been black, there's no going back."
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