xbox discussions

Brighten up your day with some fun @ HumorHour.com
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
- HumorHour.com - The place to go for a laugh! -
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Funny News - Funny Pictures - Funny Videos - Funny Flash - Riddles

- JOKES - Blonde - Wedding - Computer - Dirty - Lawyer - Political - Sports - Business - Religion - Animal - JOKES -

HumorHour.com competition - Win lots of prizes!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Funny Quotes From American Dad
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Page 1 - Page 2 - Page 3 - Page 4 - Page 5 - Page 6 - Page 7 - Page 8
Page 9 - Page 10 - Page 11 - Page 12 - Page 13 - Page 14
Page 15 - Page 16 - Page 17 - Page 18 - Page 19
Page 20 - Page 21 - Page 22 - Page 23 - Page 24 - Page 25 - Page 26
Page 27 - Page 28 - Page 29 - Page 30 - Page 31 - Page 32 - Page 33
Page 34 - Page 35 - Page 36 - Page 37 - Page 38 - Page 39 - Page 40
Page 41
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


(In Principal's Lewis' office)
Stan: (To Francine) These academics are expert at using mind games to implant their liberal agendas. I've dealt with them before, so leave the talking to me.
Principal Lewis: (Enters his office) Good, you're both here.
Stan: And you're both here.
Principal Lewis: I understand there's a problem.
Stan: I understand there's a solution.
Principal Lewis: Mr. Smith, you're not making sense.
Stan: Playing the race card already? (To Francine) I've got him on the ropes.
Francine: Thank you for seeing us, Principal Lewis. My husband is just a teeny bit concerned that Steve may not be ready for sex education.
Stan: That's right! My wife didn't spend 36 hours squeezing Steve from her birth canal so you could shove his face right back in there!

------------------------------------------------------------


Stan: Okay, now that the square is gone, we can really rap. So, what do you need to know?
Steve: Um, everything, I guess. I talk a big game, but I actually know very little about sex.
Stan: Well, you don't have to worry about it because you're not having it.
Steve: Oh, but I guess I just thought I should know...
Stan: You don't need to know! That's the beautiful mystery of sex.
Steve: Well, I guess not, but I...
Stan: See, if I tell you about it, it won't be a mystery. It'll just be a fact, an ugly, moist fact, squatting on your brain like an octopus. And you don't want an octopus squatting on your brain, do you, son?
Steve: No.
Stan: And that's where babies come from.

------------------------------------------------------------


(Steve sees Stan & Francine making out on the kitchen table)
Stan: Uh, Steve!
Steve: Is this a bad time?
Stan: No, no. I-I was just, uh, buffing the table with your mother.

------------------------------------------------------------


Francine: (Pouring ice on Stan) Well, luckily, it's only a minor injury.
Stan: Minor? I doubt we'd be calling it minor if it was your wee-wee.
Steve: Here's your prescription, dad.
Stan: Finally. The burn ointment. (Reads prescription aloud) "Apply to affected area." Why can't they write these things in English?! Everybody out! I'm calling the CIA doctor.
Dr. Grossbard: (On phone with Stan) Smith, I'm elbow-deep inside the Vice President’s chest. This better be important.
Stan: Vital. How do you use ointment?
Dr. Grossbard: (On phone with Stan) Oh, just take a large gob and apply it directly to the affected area.
Stan: Oh. Okay, but… the affected area is my, a...
Nurse: (In OR with Doctor) Doctor, the aorta has ruptured!
Dr. Grossbard: (In response to nurse) Clamp on to it with both hands!
Stan: Okay... but to do that I'm gonna have to put you on speakerphone.
Nurse: (In OR with Doctor) Doctor! The artery is retracting!
Dr. Grossbard: (In response to nurse) Pull on it! Pull with all your might!
Stan: I-I feel weird. Maybe I should stop.
Dr. Grossbard: (In response to Cheney flat-lining) Don't quit on me now, you son of a bitch! Keep pumping!
Stan: But I'm... I'm... (Yells loudly, as he reaches climax)

------------------------------------------------------------


(After an avalanche covers them in snow again)
Moose #1: Why do we keep grazing here?
Moose #2: I don't know. I do not know.

------------------------------------------------------------


Steve: Dad! There you are.
Stan: Of course I'm here. W-Where would I be? Alone, touching myself?
Steve: Yeah, right. Only perverts and Democrats do that.
Stan: (Laughs) Well said, soldier.
Steve: I just want to say how sorry I am. And I hope this experience will bring us even closer together.
Stan: Of course it will. Now, get out. (Closes bathroom door)

------------------------------------------------------------


Roger: Welcome to Roger's Place. What's your poison?
Hayley: All right, I'll have a Cosmopolitan.
Roger: A Cosmo for the lady who changed my life. Just need to see some ID.
Hayley: (Laughs) Okay, here you go.
Roger: Yeah, this is clearly fake. I'm going to have to confiscate this... Dr. Ernestine Chow.
Hayley: But I need that to get into bars.
Roger: Uh-huh. I could lose my license.
Hayley: What license? You're an alien! This is make-believe in our attic.
Roger: (Pulls out a big bat) We gonna have a problem?

------------------------------------------------------------


Roger & Klaus: Francine!
Roger: Good to see you, Mrs. S. You just missed happy hour, but we may still have some crab cakes. Miguel, tenemos crab cakes?!
Francine: I don't want any crab cakes.
Roger: Good, because there's no Miguel or crab cakes.
funny games
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
About HumorHour.com - Advertising - - Contact Us - Free Webmaster Content
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Copyright © 2004-2011 HumorHour.com. All rights reserved.- Return to Top -