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Funny Quotes From American Dad ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Page 9 - Page 10 - Page 11 - Page 12 - Page 13 - Page 14 Page 15 - Page 16 - Page 17 - Page 18 - Page 19 Page 20 - Page 21 - Page 22 - Page 23 - Page 24 - Page 25 - Page 26 Page 27 - Page 28 - Page 29 - Page 30 - Page 31 - Page 32 - Page 33 Page 34 - Page 35 - Page 36 - Page 37 - Page 38 - Page 39 - Page 40 Page 41 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Jackson: Hey, Stan. How come I've never seen this son of yours before? Stan: Darnelle's been to the office a hundred times! Or are black people invisible to you, you racist bastard! Hayley: Look, you said you wanted a job so you could meet people. Roger: (In a "Jumbo Juice" costume) No, no, it's good. It's fine. The costume's nice and spacious. There's enough room in here for everything, except my self-respect. Hayley: It's not my fault the job market sucks. I didn't vote for Bush. Roger: Let it go, Hayley. Hayley: Never Francine: Stan, stop grinding your teeth. It's not your fault that nut-job is still out there. Stan: Forget national security! We have a real crisis! Our son is a geek! Francine: So our son is a geek, who cares? Stan: You knew? What else have you been hiding? Maybe the fact that he's not even my son. Please, please, tell me you slept with another man. Tell me it was in our bed and he was wearing my tie as a headband. And-and you grabbed the tie to gain leverage, and then apologized, embarrassed. But he said, "No, baby, you grab what you need to grab to keep doing what you're doing." Tell me! If you ever loved me, you'll tell me that's what happened! (On TV) Greg: The cyber-terrorist has struck again. Terry: That's right, Greg. This time he hacked into the computer system at the largest refinery on the East Coast, essentially shutting down all oil production. Greg: Oh, well, I hope that doesn't include olive oil. Someone promised to make me paella this weekend. Terry: Great, now it seems like an obligation instead of a treat. Roger: Well, going to the beach as a Saudi exchange student was an awful idea. Hayley: Well, I'm sorry no one talked to you, but we can't risk anyone seeing you. Roger: Hayley, I'm a social creature. I need to mingle. You know, back home, I was a greeter at Falaxido. It's kind of like Wal-Mart, except when people work there for 18 years, they aren't proud of it. Snot: I've never been to a baseball game before! Stan: Yeah, well, wait 'til you hear who pulled some strings to get us into the Yankee locker room. Barry: You? Stan: I said wait, pork chop! Whoa, whoa, ha. Where'd that come from? Uh, yes, Steve's friend, it was me. Stan: Steve, how would you like to go a Yankee-Oriole game tomorrow? Steve: Really? Stan: Absolutely. If you want to get good at something, you have to see it done up close, by professionals. That's why I took your mother to Bangkok last summer. Oh, her pad thai is delicious now. Snot: Uh, Steve, you were supposed to go on a mission with us tomorrow. Stan: You're all invited. Steve: Cool! Can we wear our uniforms? Stan: Absolutely. And I got you all baseball jackets, too. (To Barry) Your size would have cost me two bucks extra, so, uh, just bring a sweater. Hayley: Roger, have you lost your mind? You know you can't let Steve's friends see you. Roger: Oh, Hayley, they won't notice I'm not Francine. They're 13. They'll never take their eyes off my sweater meat. Hayley: Look, don't go down there. I promise I'll help you find a safe way to socialize with humans. Roger: That'd be great, Hayley. I feel so cooped up in this place. It's like a prison, except without the thrill of a daily cavity search. Did I say thrill? I meant fear. |
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